While it may not always seem like it, I have a lot of self doubt and insecurities, which was something that stressed me out about starting a blog. It was also a big factor that prevented me from sharing said blog with anyone I knew IRL for several months. I've always been nervous about sharing creative endeavors because, when you put your heart and soul into something, it hurts even more to be judged or ridiculed for it.
I've seen the side eye, been the subject of comments about "constantly" being on my phone or computer, heard the jokes about how "Selfie" was practically written about me (I still need to see that for my girl Karen G). Though I have been fortunate enough not to experience much of this, I know other bloggers that have received ridicule, harassment, and worse just for sharing their opinions, thoughts, and lives on the internet.
I'm blessed by the fact that, as far as I know, all my friends and family members think that what I do is pretty cool. And I'm not ashamed or worried about it - I love it, otherwise I wouldn't do it. I obviously don't share every minute of my life with you guys, that would be pretty ridiculous. But I have noticed some things that have changed in the recent past, for better or worse, since I've started blogging on the regular.
>> You can get wrapped up with perfection.
I've now noticed that, with moderate success, I feel pressure to take the perfect photo for a post or for Instagram. Which, in some ways, is not a bad thing - looking at the photos and graphics for my old posts makes me cringe now. I do feel that I have a higher quality of graphics, posts, and content, which is never a bad thing. It means that I've grown and evolved and figured out what works for me as the past 2-ish years have gone by.
But when it comes to the point where I'm rearranging my entire apartment to get the perfect shot, or taking pictures that make my life look oh so picturesque when in reality I'm in second day sweat pants laying in bed watching Netflix, it's like - when do I draw the line? And then there's the reflex of wanting to delete posts that don't get a lot of engagement for whatever reason, especially on Instagram. I don't know why all my insecurities revolve around Instagram, but whatever.
>> Sometimes you need to unplug.
While going a weekend (or a day, or an hour) without internet or your smartphone seems like the first cardinal sin for bloggers like me, it's something that is absolutely necessary. I've found that, when first dragged away from the 'net, whether forcibly, circumstantially, or purposely, I get severe anxiety and stress from the thought of not being connected.
But then, after a half hour or so, I relax, I notice more things, I feel more connected to the people I'm with. While things like vacations, parties, brunches, or girl's nights can be perfect fodder for Instagram photos and blog posts, you can't always view life through a telephoto lens. If you're constantly concerned with snapping pics or scribbling down ideas, you're going to miss actually experiencing the event that you want to share.
>> Material possessions can consume you if you're not careful.
Okay, I'll admit: I've always been a material person. And I'm not saying whether that's a good or a bad thing, all I'm saying is that some people love material, tactile things, for various reasons. It doesn't necessarily mean you are shallow or vain. I just love clothes and makeup and shopping. I also love philosophy and politics and classic literature and ballet. It's called being a three dimensional person.
But I've noticed lately that the urge and desire to live a certain lifestyle, or to at least give off the impression that I'm living a certain lifestyle, has become more and more prevalent. It's hard not to get wrapped up in designer labels and status symbols when you watch a video of a beauty vlogger putting $300 worth of makeup (that she probably got for free) on her face in the span of 10 minutes. It's hard not to get jealous when you see beautiful photos of other bloggers designer duds and brand collaborations. It gets to a point where you feel like you have to have certain things to sit at the "cool bloggers" table.
But let me tell you right now: things do not define us. Not as bloggers, not as people. Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to have expensive clothes or makeup to fit in. Most of us learned this in middle school, but it's important to reiterate.
>> If you want something, go after it.
It's easy to sit around and wonder why you're not getting any offers for collaborations, jobs, relationships, etc. Sure, it would be nice if those things just fell into your life like that, but hey, opportunities don't grow on trees! If you want something, you have to go out there and work hard to make it a reality.
If there's someone that you like, tell them. If you want a job or a promotion or a raise, just ask. If you want to work with someone, or sit by someone at lunch, or borrow something - JUST ASK. Literally the worst thing that could happen is that they could say no. And if they do, then you pick yourself up and move onto the next thing.
>> Not everyone is going to love you 100% of the time.
Like I said, I've been lucky - everyone in my life has been incredibly supportive about all this, at least to my face. But I know that other bloggers don't have it as easy. Whether it be friends, family members, or mean internet strangers, it's a fact of life that not everyone is always going to love everything you do. You can pour your heart and soul into something and be extremely proud of it, and that's great, but there's going to be someone who doesn't like it.
One of my favorite sayings goes something like "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be someone who hates peaches."
At the end of the day, you have to make sure you're happy with what you've done. You can't rely on others for validation.
So - what lessons have you learned from blogging?
